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the most unbelievable of all of my stories begins many years ago. i'm not exactly sure what to call the event, but for argument sake i will refer to it as a dream. anyway, i woke up from the most realistic dream ever and was confused what was the reality, and what was the dream. in my dream, i woke up from another dream and was spending time with 5 other people that i felt extremely connected to. the five were named rachel, dakota, charles, jesse, and rica. the connection was unlike anything you could imagine, but i'm gonna try to explain it. it was knowing that these people would do anything for me combined with feeling a strong love for all of them. there were also unexplained events going on such as whenever i was missing one of the five others, they would just show up. i also remember being thirsty and water just appearing. everything was heavenly-like, dreamy, cloudy, smokey, and it felt like all of us were extremely intoxicated. i wasn't sure how or why we we connected, but something within me knew it was always gonna be the six of us, forever. however, the five other people seemed to all be in on a secret that i was left unaware of, and when i would ask them questions they laughed at me and told me to relax. i was the baby of the group. i could tell by the way they touched me and talked to me. at the beginning of this story i mentioned that in this dream, i woke up from another dream. the dream i woke up from was also extremely realistic, but very choppy. i was someone else, someone that had control of his life, someone with charisma, someone young, i was a musician, someone with all of the potential in the world, someone talented and motivated, and most importantly, i was someone extremely in love. i awoke... ...still in the dream, after waking up from this dream within the dream, i shared the story with rachel. i told her that it felt so real and that i wanted to be the person in my dream. she told me that i did not know what i was saying and that i should stop talking so foolishly. i couldn't stop thinking and talking about the potential and the love. my head was in rachel's lap, she put her hand on my forehead and tried to relax me. i never stopped wanting the dream. i can't tell you when the dream began, or how the dream within the dream ended, but eventually, obviously it must have, and here are the stories to prove it. in no particular order
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lover
i've made many jokes about the fact that i am attracted to women that seem to be headcases. hopefully i've become a better judge of character than i once was. either way, it seemed as if everytime i met a female with some issues, i was drawn to her. this song picks things up from a second date. "i
told her that she's an even bigger head case than i though and
she laughed and laid on her back. i've always been attracted
to girls
like that"
this song is a backtrack of the relationship that pushed me into songwriting. it was originally called "so many memories" and it had a really cheesy upbeat tempo. one night i decided to change it up and slow it down a bit. i changed the name to rise once again. later i added the word beauty to the title because people were misunderstanding the line as "i wish i could see your BOOTY rise once again" this
version (on
cd#5) is very intricate and you will hear something new each time.
the song has many levels of mixed meanings and hidden mixed messages.
i chose to sleep on an uncomfortable couch instead of sharing a bed with a friend. i was afraid that the situation would become odd (or even lead in a direction that i was not interested in) BUT, while i slept on the couch, my friend was dancing in my dreams. "some
are lazy, some are crazy, and some wish they were baby, dirty
dancing with patrick swayze"
she called me shakespeare because i was always writing and working on music. she had no idea that i had developed a severe case of writers block and that everything i was writing was actually crap. everything until i met her. i fell for a girl that was in a relationship. these stories usually end up bad, but this situation was totally worth it. "he
sat on the floor, she sat on her ankles. she cured his writers
block while she was breaking his heart"
a funny thing happens when you write about personal things...they have the potential to become public. that is what is so stupid about some of my works. i originally sat down and wrote about something because it was the only way i could gain closure. then i played these songs and recorded these songs, and then the next thing i know, i'm basically constantly reliving the emotions i was feeling originally. writing
can be a great way to deal with those original emotions, but if
you're planning on reading the poems or playing the songs for others,
i'd suggest substituting generic labels (such as he/she) for real
names. this will help to avoid questions such as "who is melissa?"
this song is actually making fun of the fact that my imagination gets away from me. "someday this little known author will be a father and if i had things my way she would be the lovely mother" it's important for me to let people know that this "woman" has not been met yet. i'm basically writing a songs about someone that i have made up in my mind. someone that i have created to help me forget about some of the lousy relationships i've experienced AND inspire me to write a song. "memories disappearing faster, faster than this pen can make it's way to a ziplock bag" after i write a song i place the original draft and the utensil i used in a ziplock bag ...it's
a superstition thing.
just like the song says "i keep a notebook next to my bed, because you never know when inspiration will happen." Anyway, i began writing this song one evening, but the funny thing was that my pens kept running out of ink so i would have to scrounge around to find another until i couldn't find any more. then i had to use a hi-liter. "maybe if i write enough songs about what i did wrong, the pain will be gone finally." for me, writing music is extremely therapeutic and for some reason i just feel that if i can trap an emotion in a song, i will be able to somehow set it free. as
mentioned above, after i write a song, i take the original script
and the writing utensil
used and
i place them in a ziplock bag. in this case, the ziplock
looks like a goody bag from a birthday party.
i was down in New Orleans with some friends. this one particular evening we were just walking around bourbon street drinking, listening to music, etc... anyway, there was this one girl with blue eyes that was walking towards us and for a split second our eyes locked. "when the bluest blue of her eyes and the brown of mine combined, it left me with beautiful shade of hazel in my mind." we really looked deep at each other, but continued to walk in separate directions. after we had passed each other i wanted to turn around, but i didn't. instead i decided to write a song about it. back to song list
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maybe
some guys start playing the guitar to get the girl. i started after i lost a girl. this song is about a guy that thinks he can get a new girl to fall for him if she hears him play the guitar. now he is trying to figure out how to create an opportunity to play for her. "maybe,
if i could trick her next to my guitar, maybe she would, (maybe
she could), fall for me"
it's hard enough to make a decision based on what you see and what you hear. when you add the extra dimension of the heart, every decision has the capability of being a great success or a huge disappointment. this song is about the dealing of emotions and then trying to just turn it into a song instead of actually dealing with it. "the
kind of emotion you can only feel by blowing apart into a bazillion
and one pieces"
one night i was winding a show down and this one girl came up to the stage and asked me to play the songs passenger seat and deeper. i was planning on only playing one more song so i compbined them into one song. this is that song. the song begins with a humorous exaggeration about how the pain that i'm feeling is so deep. "the pain that i'm feeling is deeper than the crack that hides her thong and deeper than the guy from 16 candles (long duck dong)" passenger seat is a song that i wrote about the fact that i felt as if i had lost control of the direction of my life. i felt like someone else was making all of the decisions while i just sat and watched. "please
don't make love to me in the passenger seat of your car. i would
rather be alone than doing this for no reason at all."
she was a beauty pagent kinda girl and a future miss wisconsin. she was down to earth and great company. for short time she was my memory medication. i am so open-minded to the concept of being swept off my feet by someone new that i probably set myself up for failures. this song is about that period of time when you first meet someone new and things are awesome because there are no expectations, no rules, just good times. memory
medication is about forgetting your past because you are so wrapped
up in something new
i've never had a mistress and i've never been married. however,
when i'm true to my heart, i realize that my true love is the music
and that the relationships i'm in are actually the mistresses.
to the best of my knowledge, no one has ever written a song about cleavage. am i the only one that finds that interesting? women love to buy special bras that create it, guys find it hard to not look at it. it is very sexy and beautiful at the same time so i decided to write a song about it, but there is actually a story... i was just walking around one day when all of the sudden i see this female bending over to pick up her pen. i actually remember thinking to myself, "i hope she drops it again." but it never fell. that's when the idea for the song came to me. why
beep? i originally wrote the song saying the word cleavage, but
later decided to be a little more respectful than that, so i just
substituted the "beep" in.
one day i saw one of my friends standing with this one girl that i had never seen before. i thought that she was incredibly beautiful and later on that night when i was playing my guitar i started writing about the situation. butterfly is about seeing someone and wishing that you knew them, wishing that you knew their name. in this case, i noticed that the girl had a butterfly tattoo on her chest so i decided to refer to her as "butterfly." "spread your wings tonight, and i will call you butterfly." i still remember when i bought my first harmonica. i was in 6th grade. it was in the key of G, and my father thought that i was wasting my money. i wanted to learn how to play because i was really digging the song "love me do" by the beatles. i also wanted to learn how to play the harmonica because i was having trouble at the time learning the piano, and my guitar playing was horrible. i figured that it would be easy. 100
years later, i basically locked myself in my bedroom and wrote
a harmonica part for a song that i was working on called butterfly. what
was also very interesting is that butterfly is the first (and only)
song that i have ever written with an electric guitar.
first
of all, i've never really been too happy with the title of this
song, but i could never really think of anything better. It
was called "on my soul" for a while and also "what
i whispered in her ear" but i always came back to fingers
forever even though everyone giggles at it because it sounds perverted. "your love fingers forever
on my soul"
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