"My group of
closest friends have been labeled
the "JOHNTOURAGE" and have fully lived
up to my ideals of taking our time in college and
not rushing into anything that may involve responsibility." -Johnny
Lechner
Ryan
(AKA: the Berkulator) and I met during his first
few day college (7 years ago). He did stray from my
path of "wise
advice" when he chose to propose to his freshman
year sweetheart. However, more recently, I was able
to show
him the light as I
motivated him to get into shape, lose 90 lbs, and
also break off his relationship
and engagement. Like me, the Berkulator chose to
pass on the real world and add another year of college.
AKA:
Dickhead, Roman Helmet Moustache Dildo Man, or Berkdiddley
Become a part of the Johntourage and earn yourself a bachelors degree!
SUNSHINE
Mike "Sunshine" Hanson
has been hand picked and groomed to be the torchbearer of
extended education (once I graduate).
Sunshine and I have been friends since his Freshman year (2001).
This former backyard wrestler understands that the college
years really are the best years. Although he has had his ups-and-downs,
he is now well on his way to infamy since he has (once again)
switched
majors and (in turn) added at least two more years of college.
Super
Garbage Man (Alex) and Johnny have been friends since
1994. Throughout the journey Alex has gathered many
nicknames such as Captain Cockblock, Super Garbage
Man, and the Monster Maniac.
The
Green Jesus (John Basile) is a fast talking Italian who
held a thirst for enjoying
life, but was unsure how to fully grab "the
college experience" by the tail. Since his induction into
the "Johntourage" (as my personal assistant) his
dreams of partying, women, and late nights have become everything
he
had imagined.
Niki "the
Hot Canadian" is the female voice of reason of the Johntourage.
Niki is to Johnny as Kelly Kapowski is to Zach Morris. Johnny
is constantly trying to nudge their best friendship in the
direction of best romance, but this girl is wise to Johnny's
tricks and loves to shoot him down.
Mat
Hughson (Rex Kwon Do) started college back in 2002, left school
for a bit, but is now back (and on pace) to graduate in May
of 2008. Recently, Rex happily earned the nickname of "beerboy" since
he always seems to roll in with a 6, 12, or case of beer for
the guys. However, there is a dark side to this friendly guy.
His alter-ego Chewbacca-Erotica comes out when the drinks are
flowing or when he is insulted by people in the chat room.
Regardless, Johnny and the rest of the Johntourage will be
doing everything possible to sidetrack Beerboy's upcoming graduation.
Any suggestions?
AKA:
Beer Boy, Chewbacca-Erotica, or the MILF hunter
Jerald "the
Black Bearon" Donnegan is an aspiring comedian/ singer
and also one of Johnny's first calls when the prospect of a
road trip arises. He met Johnny at a Halloween Party his freshman
year (2002) that included some heavy drinking, Spider-Man,
Lil Jon, the Incredible Hulk, and a slutty bumble bee. The
two have been basketball teammates and best friends ever since.
Private "Shawn" Pickles
is the newest member of the Johntourage, but he excited to
work his way up the totem pole and someday be known as Major
General Pickles. Through weekly missions and the submission
of "Pickle Salutes" (see picture), you can play a
role in the molding of this soldier. lll;P
If
there is an excuse, Elliot will use it. This
is only his 5th year of college, but have no fear, the end
is not in sight. Elliot's trademark is that he is always
up for a night out on the town, however, he is always broke
so his drinks tend to fall on my tab.
Like
many of Johnny's close friends, Little Ryan met Johnny his
first day of college (2003). Ryan and Johnny have been through
a lot in the past few years, but their most recent adventure/
road trip to Minneapolis has defined what great friends will
do for one another in times of need.
Swanny
the 21 year old Virgin has been trying to get laid for 21 years
without Johnny's help. Now that Johnny has decided to help,
things should get interesting.
